How to Survive the Summer, Single

It's Wedding season again. Well actually, it's Wedding, engagement, barbeque, baby shower, Christening, happy to be happy season.

Don't get me wrong - I love summer; I love long summer days and reading books in the sunshine and long dog walks and paddles in babbling brooks. All of these things scream the sanctuary of the spring and summer months. But then the invites flock through the post... or the events pages of social media, with the dreaded 'plus one' scrawled or typed at the bottom of the invitation. The simple phrasing loaded with connotations of relationship status and the fear of being the only single attendee. So I find myself contemplating whether or not it is socially acceptable to request to bring the dog with me. For future reference, barbeques are usually always yes, Weddings and Christenings are usually a no go.

What a dilemma for the twenty first century single girl. So on receiving the invites and the facebook event notifications and the text messages; I book a summer haircut, purchase a few summer dresses and a pair of sandals that shred the skin from my feet and I think, perhaps I will invite an actual man and surprise everyone with my ability to commit to a human being. I could scrawl through my phonebook and give every boy I've ever fluttered my eyelids at a call just to say hello or even a flirty text. But then I remember that I have never once fluttered my eyelids and I do think the term of phrase is flutter one's eyelashes, so it becomes apparent that this plan clearly won't work.

Instead, I fire up the internet to trawl through an array of trolls and the socially inept men folk 'near me' to arrange a string of horrific and rather unsuccessful dates. These usually consisting of one drink each followed by an array of bizarre excuses to leave the pub quickly and hope to God not to bump into anyone you know! Imagine having to introduce your soon to be abandoned drinking partner to a work colleague.

So after realising that 'J8Locia' is actually called Steve and definitely is not 'built' or 'toned' in any way, you make a quick get away home to the dog and realise the evening would have been a much happier one spent with a take away in front of the television or even better, curled up in bed with a book.

My brief spells of dating are not to be blamed on my coupled friends, after all, it's the norm. No single protagonist in any major blockbuster remains single and happy. In his or her quest for happiness they find love and those things are, according to this formula co-dependent. Society dictates that I should be creating a 'love nest' by my age and spending my weekends cutting out pictures of wedding dresses and pictures of babies. Instead I'm scrapbooking photos of my Labrador with a page for Airedale Terrier puppies that we may one day add to our odd little animal family. I'm rather happy with my odd little animal family.

As for the RSVP; I shall be attending alone but I'll happily consume the food and the wine that you would have happily provided for the significant other you are fully aware I don't have.